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HUMOR

Booting up the day with Coffee

On the Win95 machine

C:\> START DAY

File not found.

Oh, that's right, coffee.exe needs to be loaded first! It creates the day and remains resident for a while.

C:> LOADHIGH COFFEE.EXE

File not found.

No coffee.exe? Guess that means I have to re-compile!

On the Linux server...

Start mkcoffee service so the sources can compile.

# /sbin/mkcoffee

mkcoffee 1.1 loading.

Warning: Tray open.

Filter initialized.

Java Beans 1.1 loading... done.

Warning: Tray still open, closing.

Water loading... done.

Starting up service "mkcoffee".

time to compile coffee.

# cd /usr/src/coffee

# make strong

gcc -o/etc/coffee coffee.c -O3 -Ldoscompat -Wall > /etc/coffee-log

the coffee is compiled. now stop mkcoffee. don't need it using up resources when I'm not compiling coffee.

# killall mkcoffee

Stopping service "mkcoffee"

# cp /etc/coffee /mnt/dosbox/coffee.exe

Back to the desktop

C:> LOADHIGH COFFEE.EXE

Coffee v1.1 loaded.  Compiled with default options "cream=1, sugar=1".  Creating day... done.

C:> START DAY

Day started.  Speed enhanced by coffee device option "strong".

C:> _

By Others

bulletEmployee vs. management bathrooms
bulletBomb squad practical joke
bulletWhat a guy looks like to a progressively drunk girl
bulletWhat happens when Santa gets really pissed off at you
bulletUnder a lot of, uh... stress
bulletWindows keyboard error
bulletHidden options in MS Word
bulletThis guy printed out the Windows 2000 bug list
bulletHidden menus in Photoshop and Word... WIBNI?
bulletThe new Intel Inside sticker - warning to techs: posting this on a computer visible to the public may be a serious career limiting move.
bulletAn e-mail from the past
bulletiMac has a deep thought
bulletY to K conversion
bulletBill Gates has a wedgie?
bulletStupid error message [= 1 =] [= 2 =] [= 3 =]
bulletMr. T pities the fool who don't use 1-800-COLLECT

MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

Al-gor-ithm" means "The unscrupulous technique of continuing to count and re-count until you get the result you want." (Sent by Gary Gilmore)

Old C programmers never die. They're just cast into void...

If you have the VB6 runtime, try mk1337 [172K] and chat like a 1337 h4x0r.

Links to outside pages:

bulletYoopers Guide to Computer Lingo
bulletHome on the web (Sung to the tune of Home on the Range)

The following jokes may be offensive to some people.

bulletOF Why girls are evil (funny to guys only)
bulletOF 3 corporate lessons [text] (contains profanity)
bulletOF Eye test chart (funny to some single people only)
bulletOF Funny ad for a Crybaby wah pedal (offensive to drummers)
bulletOF Human evolution (offensive to girls)

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Any questions, e-mail me at danlib64@yahoo.com for help.